YC's whole pitch is eleven success stories from twenty years and 5,000+ companies, worn like a name tag at every party since 2005. Survivorship bias with a demo day. Paul Graham called it 'formidable'; the other 4,989 founders called it rent.

The notice is the joke. The post-mortem is the document: eight parts across a printed report, in your inbox in about a minute. The verdict, the body, the cause and time of death, what your first screen actually says to a stranger, the three things to cut, the one fix worth making, and a week-by-week plan for the next thirty days.
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